By “Cannibal” Cam Schwarz
A buddy of ours, Stan Danly, was off to work, back in July, 2013 on a gorgeous night. Stars were out and a bright moon was shining on this hot summer night. Stan was hanging out at our friend Phil’s house that day, just going over some work for a future project. Phil wanted this fantastic dinning room set built and we figured the best man for the job was Stan and his partner, Ted, who runs the shop down on James Street North in Hamilton. Stan was going over the plans to build this set-piece for an upcoming short film when he realized he was late for work. He had many projects on the go with many clients waiting for their paid work.
Stan calls Ted to tell him he’s on his way with new work for the shop. The laid-back Ted’s most common attire consisted of brown slacks, black shoes and a red shirt. Neither his attire nor money mattered to him. What mattered were the friends and family he had around him, and his universe.
As Stan was leaving, we noticed this crazy radiant light illuminating the night sky from the direction of the lumber yard where Stan works. It was an intense green light that descended slowly onto everything. It was weird. It went away as slowly as it came but not before we caught its beaming lights of energy on our phones. I think a lot of people did.
At a military base about two miles from the lumber yard, soldiers were being ordered to prepare for what was about to happen. Aliens first set down here in 1968. The Corporal General rounded up his men and gave them instructions. This was an actual UFO phenomenon, something that concerned the military at least. He briefed his men to take care of this situation. People were dying and dissolving into thin air, leaving behind only their bones and teeth. It was turning into a creepy valley. Something was zapping humans into extinction. Action was urgently needed now.
An excited Stan was on his way to tell his boss Ted more about the set-piece Phil wanted for his next project which would mean a lot of money. Stan wanted to get the job done. At Ted’s lumber yard, he set himself up ready to work but couldn’t find a living soul. Stan figures that Ted’s just out for a smoke or grabbing some food because he also had a huge night ahead of him. Ted was also keen to tell Stan about some of the future work he landed. Stan began working away and suddenly realized he didn’t have his work boots, his safety glasses and most importantly the bucket (what is this?) on his head. He was upset that something of this importance didn’t occur to him earlier before he began work. Was it the beam of light flashing down above them? Was it the couple making out in a Volkswagen Beetle? Was it all the commotion from the nearby nuclear test facility? Was it the fun time he had at the beach? It just didn’t add up. He hoped Ted wasn’t dead, or gutted alive. This whole situation just didn’t make any sense at all!