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Single Taken Complicated: January 2019

Hello, my lovelies,

Lily Hush here again, I’ve successfully escaped my food-induced holiday coma. There’s nothing quite like eating for three days in a row to really get you in the mood for sex and dating.

“Hi there I’m Lily, I’m essentially 85% mashed potato at this point. You look good enough to eat.”

Is it just me or does everyone kind of look good in the middle of the winter months? It’s cold, you could use a Netflix partner, the holidays continuously remind you of how single you are. Ugh. During this time of year, I can totally understand why individuals feel the desire to settle (down).

Some people call it cuffing season, I call it winter. Everywhere I look people are coupling up. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to feel lonely during the holidays, maybe they want a warm body next to them during the coming cold months, or maybe it’s to avoid the inevitable line of questioning from family. Either way, new couples are popping up on couches and futons all over the Niagara Region.

During this time, it is easy to have your vision tainted by the season. Those people who were seemingly unattractive before, are suddenly looking pretty good in that plaid flannel and hand-knit toque. It’s a byproduct of the cold weather I think, people become what I like to call, “hibernation hot.” And when everyone around you starts looking mighty fine, that’s when the inevitable happens: you start hooking up with the people closest to you, your friends. “Oh I swear, we’re just friends.” Not during January, you certainly are not. But is crossing that line with your friend wise? Well, it’s hard to say. It seems rather convenient and sure, I’ve heard stories about two friends who finally get together after so many years and live happily ever after. However, have I ever actually met anyone who experienced this “When Harry Met Sally” scenario? No. Definitely not.

The real risk of kissing your friends is that it becomes very possible that you’re inevitably kissing that friendship goodbye. Sex, intimacy, and/or shared orgasms can definitely blur the lines of friendship a bit. My friend Charlene tells me that her and Henry had been friends for close to a decade. They were supportive of each other, they talked about almost everything together, and she knew he had her back no matter what. Then one day they had a few cocktails and well, you know the rest. According to Charlene everything seemed to change after that. They were both unnecessarily awkward around each other, there was almost a strange coldness between them, and Charlene was pretty devastated when she realized that it had forever altered her relationship with Henry.

Charlene’s story seemed like a worst case scenario to me so I started asking around. Daren and Rachel, who have been friends for 6 years, laugh and tell me about how they hooked up a few years back after a particularly lonely New Years Eve, “It was terrible” they agreed, “but we’ve stayed best friends in spite of it.” When I asked them how they managed to avoid the ever so common awkwardness, they were stumped. “Maybe we just knew the friendship was more important, so we didn’t let anything damage it.” How mature. How rare. How nice for them. This isn’t always the case, obviously.

When intimacy is involved it becomes quite easy to develop feelings, or unintentionally hurt another’s feelings. If the friendship means that much to you then don’t give in to that winter temptation. But if you’re cold and weak like me, then use your discretion, protect your heart, and enter this unknown territory at your own risk.

As always, whether you’re single, taken or it’s complicated: I’m rooting for you.
Until Next Time,
Lily Hush

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